Be gentle with yourself
For a long time I have been beating myself up about events and situations that are either out of my control, not my doing, or beyond my ability to change. Still I obsess, still I blame, still I gnash my teeth and beat my breast.
As a mom, as a woman, I also believe that is what most of us are conditioned to do. To take the brunt of blame and fault. Second guess ourselves as wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, lovers. Whether it’s a reasonable assumption or not, we take on the responsibility for all that goes wrong, while neglecting to accept the praise for what goes right.
Slowly I am realizing that these negative convictions are wrong and in no way change events, improve situations or give me superhuman powers.
Lately, reading some of my favorite chick blogs, I’m seeing that this is not a trend that is unique to me. And I am so incredibly sad.
I leave comments trying to bolster them, ‘you’re a fabulous mom,’ or ’stick up for yourself, you deserve so much better,’ or ‘give yourself some slack, you’re only human.’ Or, ‘it’s not your fault.’
All the while never giving myself these same Get Out of Jail Free cards. Never allowing myself to be any thing other than infallible.
We are all stronger than we know, better than we can admit, and more worthy of admiration than we believe.
We all must remember to be as kind, as compassionate, as nurturing of ourselves as we are to each other.
To all my friends ~ moms, wives, sisters, daughters, lovers ~ Be Gentle with yourselves.