What were you thinking?!
When I argue with my peeps, I just want to lay it all out, rant for a few minutes, get really a little loud and be done. Clear the air and not let things fester. Then, I’m over it.
I do try to fight fair though. I don’t bring up old conflicts, I don’t call names, and I don’t go off on tangents, pinging on everything that I am pissed about now, was in the past and anticipate in the future. Yet, even when I agree with you, if I’m mad, it can sound like I’m arguing with you.
I have a totally different fighting style outside The Family. When I do have conflicts with co-workers or neighbors, I try to remain calm and logical, nothing like when I’m mad at my peeps. But don’t get off subject, don’t call me names or accuse me of lying. I will totally lose it. I am a force of nature.
Hubs is not like that. He doesn’t like conflict and can avoid a fight… especially with me, in the most adroit ways. Yet, if he disagrees with you, and has the facts to back him up (which he always does) you never stand a chance against his brutal onslaught of logic and reason. No voices raised, no hint of anger… just cold, hard reality.
When he welds this superpower against people he has to deal with on a professional level, it can be devastating. Whenever he is off to a conference or business meeting, one of the last things I say to him is “don’t make anyone cry.” He doesn’t always listen.
How do you argue… do you argue?